What We Learn When We Embrace The Wait

Let us face the truth, we do not like to wait. Our society has shaped us to expect immediate gratification. With technologies like telephone, microwave, refrigerator, airplanes we have now extended reach, many things are now in our fingertips. In this modern age of convenience, when we are forced to wait, we became impatient. We are living in a philosophy of “I want it now!”. But we should understand, waiting is a vital element of life. Everyday in some form we wait. We wait at the line of Supermarket, at rush hour traffic or simply at a line for morning cup of coffee.

There are other forms of wait, a bit serious and longer than regular wait that we just mentioned. May be you are without job waiting for a new opportunity, May be you are not well and waiting for your health to improve or may be you are looking for the Mr. or Miss right to spend a meaningful life. In these wait as we are more vulnerable, we often become anxious, fearful, frustrated if the waiting is longer than we expect.  But the suffering does not come from the waiting itself, the suffering is caused by our expectations.

Waiting and Expectation are like strands of a rope wound together

When you are waiting for a job you expect that your qualification will match with the requirements and you will be offered an opportunity. When you are ill, you are trusting and expecting the medicine to work. When you are waiting for the Mr. or Miss right, you are hoping to secure a place in their heart. We are like the night guards waiting for the day to break, darkness to be replaced by the light of a new dawn.

Waiting is not about doing nothing. Waiting is not resting. Waiting is an action. Waiting is the time to slow down, introspect ourselves, experience the call of life. Do I have right qualification? are my skill-sets up to date?, is my lifestyle taking a toll on health? Sometime we need to let go. It is important to clean out old emotional baggage time to time and make room for the new. There are some days when it is harder to be patient. Reach out to a mentor at that time. You are not alone in the waiting.

Waiting is the time for learning thyselves. It is actually the time for growth. But this growth happens so slowly over time that we often don’t see it happening. People who stayed patient and has crossed such phase often heard from others that they have changed. We found ourselves on different plane, more evolved, mature and insightful. We can not evolve without going on a journey from point A to point B. There is a space in between those two points, where we grow. Some call it fruits of faith. God heals us, comfort us, listen to our prayers, empower us, strengthen us and eventually help us grow.

Next time when it comes to waiting, do not try to delay it. Embrace it. Patiently wait as your journey for growth is about to start. Remember the farmers how they wait for the autumn and spring rains for the lands to yield its crop.

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5 Little Habit That Will Bring Positive Change In Your Life

People often ask what are that one or two habit that can change their life. The question is not easy. There are numerous habit we are actually following in our everyday life. The time you wake up, the food you take in your breakfast, the way you dress each of them are a habit. It depends from person to person to understand what habit they need to change and what habit they actually need to keep in their life. A life coach can actually plan you day and help you understand what habit building program you should follow.

If I could just pick five basic habit that could bring positive change in your life, here are those. These are very basic irrespective of your lifestyle. May be you are already following a few of it. If not, start it immediately – in a few months you will notice the change. Before I begin with, it is important that I share the golden rules of habit building.

• Do a 30-days challenge, one habit at a time
• Maintain a habit journal, write your motivation, obstacles, and your plan to overcome them
• Log your progress, have some peer group who can encourage you and share your progress with them.
• Plan some milestone, treat yourself for every little success you achieve.

The Five Habits That Can Change Your Life

Okay, now you know the basic of how to build a habit. I will write more about building habit in a separate post. Here are the five little habits in order of my preference.

1. Get Up Early

Do you like to waking up early? Then you are already in right path. If you are not, you should start earning the benefits of waking up early. By walking up early you can take control of your day. Early morning are the best productive time of the day. Also you can have a proper time for breakfast, exercise and best options for your commute. The traffic is much lighter during morning, so you get to work faster, save yourself more time.

2. Meditate

As you wake up early, its important to meditate. Maditation reduce stress, improve concentration, help you work faster and error free throughout the day, hence increase happiness. Meditation does not always means that you need to set out specific time for that. Meditation can be done in smaller chunk whenever you feel burdend. If you are just preparing the tea, inhale the aroma, wait for a minute, close your eye and do not think anything in this one minute. You will feel relaxed. You can even do it sitting at your office just for one – two minutes at a time. Stop thinking and just relax.

3. Shut off your electronics one hour a day

We have now so many electronics devices in our life that it almost started  controlling you on their beeps. The microwave beeps you rush to your kitchen, the cell phone notification beeps your open your phone. The email to the seat-belt warning of your car all beeps are vying for your attention. But your family? are you spending enough quality time with them? Take your kid to the nearest park or just sit in the backyard enjoy the nature listen to them. Hold your wife’s had and communicate. Visit your parents talk to them. Just one hour a day stay away from electronics. Soaked into the moment and resist if reflectively your hand reaching the cell phone to take photos. Just create a little private memory for you one hour everyday.

4. Read More

Reading help you in problem solving, cultivating new interests, expose you to a different ways of thinking. Everything you read fills your head with information. The more knowledge you have the better-equipped you are. In our internet crazed world our mind is always moving multi-direction as we multitask. Long hour multitasking increase stress and lowers your concentration, productivity. In your work hour if you feel tired, take 15 – 20 minutes of break. Read a book (a physical one) and you will be surprised how much more focused your are as you back to your work after this 15 minus of book reading exercise. Try to do it every two hours to be always at the pick of your productivity.

5. Maintain a Daily Routine

Many time probably you thought about the pending tasks from yesterday. This happens if you do not have a routine. Routine is not to make you mechanized, its a way to set a limit, you have only 24 hours a day. Break your day in multiple small goals from your waking up to the time to go to sleep. Some entries in your Daily routine can be as silly and obvious as brushing teeth, floss etc. Its important to tick them off that increase your confidence and help complete the other important tasks in time. The secret is to be specific. Broad goals in Daily Routine are counter productive, always answer how. “I will read newspaper for 20 mins today” is a broad goal, you may not be able to find that 20 free minutes, but a  goal like “I will read newspaper for 20 mins during my 30 mins commute to my workplace in public transport” is much more achievable.

The right habits can make your day successful, every day. Every hours of our life is precious and we should handle it such a way that we can always get the most out of it.

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5 Ways To Move On From Heartbreak To Happiness

All love relationship starts with a positive note, deep rooted in the dreams of future life together. It’s only time that erode the warmth and loosen the bond. Two different lives tried to be one, push themselves through the chaotic world, balancing, moving, working towards the commitment. Its imperative that some soul in the journey will lost direction or found better soul to move on together. Sometime there are no warnings, no hints that anything is being wrong with the relationship. It’s just a sudden departure. Everything ends in a snap, even before the other person can actually comprehend what had just happened. “I no longer love you” the words spill questions and emotions that stab the other person’s confidence and assertiveness.

Often well meaning friends advice to “just move on” which is easier said than done. Its tough to discount the loss of love, and even more tougher to acknowledge that someone else has taken your place in their heart. A life coach can help you sail through this difficult phase of life. But before you reach out, search for the light inside your soul. Some answers that can help reclaim your life back from heartbreak can come from question you dare to ask yourself.

1. Grieve your hearts out

The relationship has ended. It is now important to moving on in a healthy, productive life. But that doesn’t mean that you need to hurry. Carrying emotional baggage is worse than mourning for few days. Take your time to grieve. Don’t get stuck in anger or resentment. It’s through releasing the emotion that you will heal. Forgive. Choosing love through forgiveness is an essential part of this healing journey.

2. Surround yourself with positive people

When you are broke your well meaning friends usually try to regale you with the details that how your ex was wrong for you. They may want to be constructive. But this approach doesn’t help. You need to part your thoughts about your ex. You need support for a new beginning. There is no wrong in letting them know how you feel intrusive in their discussion regarding your ex.

3. Do something that you have been putting off

You need your space to grow. Committed relationship often eats up so much of your own time that may cause you feel smothered. Your wish list start to grow, hobbies remain unfinished. This is the time to tick off some of the entries from your wish list. It could be as little as spending an entire day in a spa or can be as big as learning a new language. Just do it. Get involve in some positive constructive work that can remind you that you are moving forward.

4. Put your hearts out on a paper

Some days are harder than other. Even if you are doing everything right for moving forward, some days the thoughts from past will visit you. You will start wondering how someone who shows so much affection for so long can became stranger just within an instant. You may feel urge to contact them. Instead take a pan and paper, write about all your anger, frustration, guilt, memories until you have nothing left to share. Read it once then symbolically destroy it; Burn it. This may sound little wired but it actually help.

5. Get excited about the future

Again bring out your pen and paper. Try to map out next one year – a happier and healthier yourself. Plan some tours, plan some time to rediscover your old passion. Put a limit on watching sad movies or listening to sad songs for next one year. Let go the old version of you and embrace a new vision for the future.

There is nothing permanent, except impermanence.

So move forward, say yes to happiness. Remember every experience in life offers a piece of wisdom, even heartbreak. Heartbreak helps you to know – love yourself; Acknowledge that you are the greatest gift to yourself. Put your hands on your chest, feel the beat. A bad chapter has ended. The time now is different, enjoy every moment with every beats of your heart.

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