What We Learn When We Embrace The Wait

Let us face the truth, we do not like to wait. Our society has shaped us to expect immediate gratification. With technologies like telephone, microwave, refrigerator, airplanes we have now extended reach, many things are now in our fingertips. In this modern age of convenience, when we are forced to wait, we became impatient. We are living in a philosophy of “I want it now!”. But we should understand, waiting is a vital element of life. Everyday in some form we wait. We wait at the line of Supermarket, at rush hour traffic or simply at a line for morning cup of coffee.

There are other forms of wait, a bit serious and longer than regular wait that we just mentioned. May be you are without job waiting for a new opportunity, May be you are not well and waiting for your health to improve or may be you are looking for the Mr. or Miss right to spend a meaningful life. In these wait as we are more vulnerable, we often become anxious, fearful, frustrated if the waiting is longer than we expect.  But the suffering does not come from the waiting itself, the suffering is caused by our expectations.

Waiting and Expectation are like strands of a rope wound together

When you are waiting for a job you expect that your qualification will match with the requirements and you will be offered an opportunity. When you are ill, you are trusting and expecting the medicine to work. When you are waiting for the Mr. or Miss right, you are hoping to secure a place in their heart. We are like the night guards waiting for the day to break, darkness to be replaced by the light of a new dawn.

Waiting is not about doing nothing. Waiting is not resting. Waiting is an action. Waiting is the time to slow down, introspect ourselves, experience the call of life. Do I have right qualification? are my skill-sets up to date?, is my lifestyle taking a toll on health? Sometime we need to let go. It is important to clean out old emotional baggage time to time and make room for the new. There are some days when it is harder to be patient. Reach out to a mentor at that time. You are not alone in the waiting.

Waiting is the time for learning thyselves. It is actually the time for growth. But this growth happens so slowly over time that we often don’t see it happening. People who stayed patient and has crossed such phase often heard from others that they have changed. We found ourselves on different plane, more evolved, mature and insightful. We can not evolve without going on a journey from point A to point B. There is a space in between those two points, where we grow. Some call it fruits of faith. God heals us, comfort us, listen to our prayers, empower us, strengthen us and eventually help us grow.

Next time when it comes to waiting, do not try to delay it. Embrace it. Patiently wait as your journey for growth is about to start. Remember the farmers how they wait for the autumn and spring rains for the lands to yield its crop.

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5 Little Habit That Will Bring Positive Change In Your Life

People often ask what are that one or two habit that can change their life. The question is not easy. There are numerous habit we are actually following in our everyday life. The time you wake up, the food you take in your breakfast, the way you dress each of them are a habit. It depends from person to person to understand what habit they need to change and what habit they actually need to keep in their life. A life coach can actually plan you day and help you understand what habit building program you should follow.

If I could just pick five basic habit that could bring positive change in your life, here are those. These are very basic irrespective of your lifestyle. May be you are already following a few of it. If not, start it immediately – in a few months you will notice the change. Before I begin with, it is important that I share the golden rules of habit building.

• Do a 30-days challenge, one habit at a time
• Maintain a habit journal, write your motivation, obstacles, and your plan to overcome them
• Log your progress, have some peer group who can encourage you and share your progress with them.
• Plan some milestone, treat yourself for every little success you achieve.

The Five Habits That Can Change Your Life

Okay, now you know the basic of how to build a habit. I will write more about building habit in a separate post. Here are the five little habits in order of my preference.

1. Get Up Early

Do you like to waking up early? Then you are already in right path. If you are not, you should start earning the benefits of waking up early. By walking up early you can take control of your day. Early morning are the best productive time of the day. Also you can have a proper time for breakfast, exercise and best options for your commute. The traffic is much lighter during morning, so you get to work faster, save yourself more time.

2. Meditate

As you wake up early, its important to meditate. Maditation reduce stress, improve concentration, help you work faster and error free throughout the day, hence increase happiness. Meditation does not always means that you need to set out specific time for that. Meditation can be done in smaller chunk whenever you feel burdend. If you are just preparing the tea, inhale the aroma, wait for a minute, close your eye and do not think anything in this one minute. You will feel relaxed. You can even do it sitting at your office just for one – two minutes at a time. Stop thinking and just relax.

3. Shut off your electronics one hour a day

We have now so many electronics devices in our life that it almost started  controlling you on their beeps. The microwave beeps you rush to your kitchen, the cell phone notification beeps your open your phone. The email to the seat-belt warning of your car all beeps are vying for your attention. But your family? are you spending enough quality time with them? Take your kid to the nearest park or just sit in the backyard enjoy the nature listen to them. Hold your wife’s had and communicate. Visit your parents talk to them. Just one hour a day stay away from electronics. Soaked into the moment and resist if reflectively your hand reaching the cell phone to take photos. Just create a little private memory for you one hour everyday.

4. Read More

Reading help you in problem solving, cultivating new interests, expose you to a different ways of thinking. Everything you read fills your head with information. The more knowledge you have the better-equipped you are. In our internet crazed world our mind is always moving multi-direction as we multitask. Long hour multitasking increase stress and lowers your concentration, productivity. In your work hour if you feel tired, take 15 – 20 minutes of break. Read a book (a physical one) and you will be surprised how much more focused your are as you back to your work after this 15 minus of book reading exercise. Try to do it every two hours to be always at the pick of your productivity.

5. Maintain a Daily Routine

Many time probably you thought about the pending tasks from yesterday. This happens if you do not have a routine. Routine is not to make you mechanized, its a way to set a limit, you have only 24 hours a day. Break your day in multiple small goals from your waking up to the time to go to sleep. Some entries in your Daily routine can be as silly and obvious as brushing teeth, floss etc. Its important to tick them off that increase your confidence and help complete the other important tasks in time. The secret is to be specific. Broad goals in Daily Routine are counter productive, always answer how. “I will read newspaper for 20 mins today” is a broad goal, you may not be able to find that 20 free minutes, but a  goal like “I will read newspaper for 20 mins during my 30 mins commute to my workplace in public transport” is much more achievable.

The right habits can make your day successful, every day. Every hours of our life is precious and we should handle it such a way that we can always get the most out of it.

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5 Ways To Move On From Heartbreak To Happiness

All love relationship starts with a positive note, deep rooted in the dreams of future life together. It’s only time that erode the warmth and loosen the bond. Two different lives tried to be one, push themselves through the chaotic world, balancing, moving, working towards the commitment. Its imperative that some soul in the journey will lost direction or found better soul to move on together. Sometime there are no warnings, no hints that anything is being wrong with the relationship. It’s just a sudden departure. Everything ends in a snap, even before the other person can actually comprehend what had just happened. “I no longer love you” the words spill questions and emotions that stab the other person’s confidence and assertiveness.

Often well meaning friends advice to “just move on” which is easier said than done. Its tough to discount the loss of love, and even more tougher to acknowledge that someone else has taken your place in their heart. A life coach can help you sail through this difficult phase of life. But before you reach out, search for the light inside your soul. Some answers that can help reclaim your life back from heartbreak can come from question you dare to ask yourself.

1. Grieve your hearts out

The relationship has ended. It is now important to moving on in a healthy, productive life. But that doesn’t mean that you need to hurry. Carrying emotional baggage is worse than mourning for few days. Take your time to grieve. Don’t get stuck in anger or resentment. It’s through releasing the emotion that you will heal. Forgive. Choosing love through forgiveness is an essential part of this healing journey.

2. Surround yourself with positive people

When you are broke your well meaning friends usually try to regale you with the details that how your ex was wrong for you. They may want to be constructive. But this approach doesn’t help. You need to part your thoughts about your ex. You need support for a new beginning. There is no wrong in letting them know how you feel intrusive in their discussion regarding your ex.

3. Do something that you have been putting off

You need your space to grow. Committed relationship often eats up so much of your own time that may cause you feel smothered. Your wish list start to grow, hobbies remain unfinished. This is the time to tick off some of the entries from your wish list. It could be as little as spending an entire day in a spa or can be as big as learning a new language. Just do it. Get involve in some positive constructive work that can remind you that you are moving forward.

4. Put your hearts out on a paper

Some days are harder than other. Even if you are doing everything right for moving forward, some days the thoughts from past will visit you. You will start wondering how someone who shows so much affection for so long can became stranger just within an instant. You may feel urge to contact them. Instead take a pan and paper, write about all your anger, frustration, guilt, memories until you have nothing left to share. Read it once then symbolically destroy it; Burn it. This may sound little wired but it actually help.

5. Get excited about the future

Again bring out your pen and paper. Try to map out next one year – a happier and healthier yourself. Plan some tours, plan some time to rediscover your old passion. Put a limit on watching sad movies or listening to sad songs for next one year. Let go the old version of you and embrace a new vision for the future.

There is nothing permanent, except impermanence.

So move forward, say yes to happiness. Remember every experience in life offers a piece of wisdom, even heartbreak. Heartbreak helps you to know – love yourself; Acknowledge that you are the greatest gift to yourself. Put your hands on your chest, feel the beat. A bad chapter has ended. The time now is different, enjoy every moment with every beats of your heart.

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5 Ways Journaling Helps Me Everytime

You know, when I was a kid I used to carry a notebook along with me, it was my journal. I used to write about my day, my vacation, my friends. I also held little secrets like which girl catch my eyes on that week. The journal was more of a day-to-day account of activities. It was not a revelation of anything deeply personal. In fact, it was a writing in bits and pieces. My life was not interesting enough to write about it every day and consequently soon my loves for writing journal end. 

After long time when I one day again picked up my pen for writing my thoughts as an adult I found the healing powers of writing. I realized journaling as one of the most freeing experience in life. I can actually slow my thoughts during writing and think through about what is happening around me. Soul Writing is what I would call it, writing our personal stories on paper. I found amazing benefits of writing my heart out. Here are 5 ways journaling has helps, heals me every-time.

1.  How I feel inside? 

In general our thoughts are clouded, feelings are overlapped. When we sit down for writing we think deeper, the thoughts became much more clearer. We can have a deeper and realistic view of what we are actually feeling.

2. Life is much more interesting than I thought

We forgets in general, that is the way of life. But some experience are worth keeping in memory. The happy moments resonate the positive vibe necessary for life. I write for every single day continuously for sometime about 3 positive things I did on the day. Then after few weeks I look back, I discover that life is truly worth living.

3. Who am I?

Before I was writing for myself every single day, I had a vague idea about what I like and dislike, where I want to go in life, my goals. But as started writing my soul out, I feel things are changing. Actually my thought of "who I am" was actually what I should be; not actually what I was! In writing I uncover my dreams, relive imagination to be my self. The experience was overwhelming. I set new boundaries. Journaling can help you as well in knowing your new self.

4. The peace within

As I started writing about my feelings, I gain ability to process those feeling with much control. I can put them on paper and get them out of my heart. Specially for feeling like anger, jealousy, resentment when I am able to process them as a third person, I can channel them out more easily. This helps in staying balanced in life with always the peace within.

5. Perception

Another thing journaling helped me immensely is about understanding other peoples point of view. Writing a journal help us processing our thoughts more clearly. We can slow down, take time and imagine to get into others shoe. Its actually always tough to know what exactly others are thinking but with writing our thoughts in black and white we can spend some time to analyze their stand. This actually help us with informed sense of other people's point of view.

Soul writing is a great way to build serenity for ourselves and journal is a great tool for that matter. Even soul writing on a napkin can have a similar effect for the moment, gives you a peace of mind. A journal on the other side can help you keep your state of mind clearer for longer. Because we stir our thoughts in one place everyday, the journal eventually becomes a part of our life. Happy writing! 

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ভালবাসা থেকে যায়

নক্ষত্রের দিকে চেয়ে দেখি 

হয়ত কোনো আলোকবর্ষ পারে 

বৃদ্ধ, অতিবৃদ্ধ আমি কোলে তুলে নিয়েছি তোমার হাত। 

সাগরের নোনতা এসে লেগেছে তোমার ঠোঁঠে,

স্পর্শ করেছি আমি, ফিরে গেছি অন্য অতীতে। 

হয়ত আরো কোনো আলোকবর্ষ পারে

তোমাকে পাবার অছিলায় বাড়িয়েছি দুই হাত,

তোমার চোখের তারায় ডুব দিয়ে দেখেছি আমি 

নিঃস করেছ আমায়, ভেসে গেছি চাঁদ - তারা - ছায়াপথ 

রাতগুলো সব তোমাতেই বিলীন ছিল|

হয়ত অন্য কোনো আলোকবর্ষ পারে 

তুমি আমি আবার জন্ম নিয়েছি কোনখানে,

আমার গায়ে মরুর বুকের বালি 

একদিন ধুয়ে যাবে তোমার বুকের অনন্ত প্রবাহিত নদীর ধারায় 

আবার মিলিত হব একসাথে, মুঠো ভরে দেব ভালবাসা

যে ভালবাসা ফুরিয়ে যায়নি, যায়না কখনো।

November 30, 2015 - Our Wedding Anniversary

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ভাবছিলাম তুমি দেখা করলে তোমায় চিনব কী করে

আর একটি দিনের অপেক্ষায়,

ফিরে যেতে চাই সেই জোছনাতে, 

যেখানে তুমি আমি পাশাপাশি, 

যেখানে স্বপ্নেরা সাথে সাথে,

তুমি কি শুনতে পাচ্ছো আমাকে?

তুমি কি শুনতে পাচ্ছো এখনো,

আমার ক্ষয় হতে থাকা অস্স্তিত

ক্ষয় হতে হতে প্রতিদিন বেঁচে থাকা,

যেমন অভিমানী নদীর স্রোতে 

ক্ষয়ে যায় তীরের বালুকণা

বাতাসে উড়ে যায় ধুলিকণা হয়ে

নীড় খুজে ফেরে, ধান ক্ষেতে,

পুকুরের পাড়ের নিরব শীতলতায় 

এক নিরলস অভিযাত্রা, 

ভালবাসার মিথ্যে মাধুকরী

খুঁজতে যেওনা আমায় কোনো দুরে 

বরং তুমি মিষ্টি করে হেসো 

তোমার পায়ের নরম ছোঁয়ায় 

বিসন্নতা মিলিয়ে যাবে,

হাসনাহেনার গন্ধে রঙিন

রাত্রি আবার মাতাল হবে

তোমার ঠোঁটের নরম ছোঁব,

নতুন করে চিনব তোমায় 

চিনব তোমায় চেনা দুখে
তোমার শ্বাসের স্ফুলিঙ্গতে।

January 22, 2015

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একাকিত্ব

একাকিত্ব

কাল তোমাকে নাও চিনতে পারি

বাড়ছে দেখো সুপ্ত শীতলতা

অন্ধকারে মলীন হয় শীতের বিছানা, 

আর, হাত বাড়িয়ে তোমায় খুঁজিনা

কোল-বালিশেও দিব্বি আমার চলে 

আর, চোখ বুজিনা তোমায় দেখব বলে

টুকরো টুকরো স্মৃতির ছায়ারা 

রোজ ক্রমশ সরছে আরো দুরে 

রাস্তার আলো ঢাকে কুয়াসার অন্ধকারে 

জানলায় স্পষ্ট হয় নক্ষত্রের আলো 

দেখতে দেখতে রোজ ঘুমিয়ে পড়ি, একা 

নাকি একাকিত্ব সঙ্গী আমার সাথে?

18 January 2015, 11:40 AM

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Spicy Lime Chicken

It's no secret that I like to try my hands in cooking. Bored with regular chicken recipes I was thinking about experimenting with masalas and process for quite some time. And there is no better time than a lazy Sunday afternoon. So, here is the result - it's turn out really good in taste and texture. Let's name it Spicy Lime Chicken.

Ingredients:

Chicken (medium size pieces) - 500g

For Marinaton
Red Chilli Powder - 1 tsp
Turmeric Powder - 1 tsp
Salt - ½ tsp
Fresh Lemon Juice - 1 tsp
Ginger - Garlic Paste - 1 tsp

Dry Roast Masala
Poppy Seeds - 1 tsp
Fennel Seeds - 1 tsp
Fenugreek seeds - ½ tsp
Black Pepper - ½ tsp
Cinnamon Sticks (small) - 2 nos
Cloves - 4 nos
Dry Red Chili - 3 nos

For Curry
Mustard oil - 2 tbsp
Chopped Onion - 1 big
Ginger - Garlic Paste - 1 tsp
Tomato Puree - 1 cup
Potato Cubed - 1 big
Fresh Lemon Juice - 1 tsp

Method:

1. I prefer quick marinade out of fridge, it works better. Completely coat the chicken with all ingredients mentioned for marination. Leave in a covered container at room temp for 2 - 3 hours.

2. Dry Roast the mentioned masala in a kadai. Once it cool down, grind to a fairly smooth powder.

3. Pressure cook the marinated chicken and Potato Cubes (if needed) for two whistles on medium flame. Let the pressure release on it own. Keep it separate.

4. Heat mustard oil in kadai. Sauté onions on medium flame until they are translucent. Add ginger garlic paste and fry again. Add tomato Puree and fry on low heat, add 1 tbsp chicken stock. Cook the mix and stir constantly until oil separates. Add dry roast masala powder and keep it boiling.

5. Add the pressure cooked chicken, potato to the masala gravy, add the chicken stock slowly and stir constantly on medium heat for 5 - 6 minutes. After the gravy is thickend and Once it reduced to the desired consistency turn off flame. Add 1 tsp fresh lemon juice and stir once more thoroughly.

Spicy Lime Chicken is ready. Serve hot with steamed rice or paratha.

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Spicy Chicken Chettinad

Chettinad is a region in Tamil Nadu, India. Chettinad cuisine is one of the spiciest in India and specially famous for fresh ground masalas. Today I tried my hand in one of the popular recipe Chicken Chettinad.

Ingredients
Chicken (skinless/with bone) 250g
Onion 1 large
Ginger Garlic paste 1 tsp
Turmeric Powder ½ tsp
Kashmiri Mirch ½ tsp
Yogurt 1 tbsp
Bay leaf 2
Potato 1 medium (optional)
Curry leaf 1 sprig
Fennel seeds ¼ tsp
Garam Masala 1 tsp
Coconut paste 1 tbsp
Mustard Oil 1 tbsp
Salt

Marinate
Wash chicken pieces thoroughly and drain excess water, marinate with  Ginger Garlic paste, Turmeric powder, Chilli powder, Salt,  and Yogurt for 1 hour.

Preparation
1. Cook the marinated chicken with little water in pressure cooker for 1 whistle. Do not open, wait for pressure to go down 10 - 15 mins
2. Heat Mustard oil in Kadai, add Fennel seed and Bay leaf. When the seeds splutter add chopped onion and fry light brown.
3. Add Chicken pieces from cooker, and fry for 2 - 3 minutes, till the oil separate.
4. Add the chicken stock and cook till ¾ done.
5. Add Coconut paste, Garam Masala and Curry leaves. Saute well and cook till the raw smell of coconut leaves and curry leaves change its colour.

Chicken Chettinad is ready, serve with steamed rice.

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Ilish macher jhol (The Hilsa curry) recipe

Hilsa fish or Ilish mach is one of bengalis favorite. Ilish easily available in West Bengal but also found in other parts of India specially during monsoon. There are various recipes of Ilish found in a Bengali's cook book. But when I started cooking I realised the Ilish has a distinct flavour of its own. Too much cooking or too much spice actually suppress the flavour. My recipe is simple in thin gravy so that you can enjoy the distinct flavour of Ilish even in the curry.

Ingredients

• Thinly sliced Ilish 1pc
• Turmeric powder 1tsp
• Salt
• Panch phoran (mix of fenugreek seeds, nigella seeds, cumin seeds, fennel seeds and radhuni)
• Red chilli powder 1tsp
• Green chilli sliced 1pc
• Onion 1 medium, sliced
• Potato 1 medium, sliced
• Mustard oil 1tbsp
• Coriander leaves for garnishing

Method

Marinate the Ilish slice in salt and turmeric powder for 30 min. Then shallow fry the Ilish golden brown in mustard oil and keep aside. 

In a pan heat ½ tbsp mustard oil, then add pinch of panch phoron, let them crackle. Add onion and potato slices and fry for sometime. After a minutes or two add a cup of water, turmeric powder, salt to taste, red chilli powder. Cover and cook till the vegetables are done, approx 15 min. 

Add Ilish piece, sliced green chillies cover again and simmer for 3 - 4 minutes more. The curry is ready. Serve with steamed rice. 

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WOW, I am on google

WOW Friends here is a news to share. I had submitted my website at google and today its up there

Just search arijitdutta
The first search result: Arijit's Own - Arijit Dutta's personal is mine.

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Testing Email posting

It works, WoW !!

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Hi Friends

This is a test post.

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